The hospitable reception of a guest is more than just opening the door of one’s home to another (although that may be a part of it). It is actually more fundamentally about opening one’s self to another. Author Henri Nouwen is one of the voices leading me into this new way of contemplating hospitality. In his book, Reaching Out: The Three Movements of The Spiritual Life, Nouwen shares that the type of hospitality that truly matters is rooted in the creation of a free space within and around the host, into which a “stranger can enter and become a friend instead of an enemy.” This space is free and safe because in it the host does not seek to change visitors, but instead provides them the room in which change can occur. And it is the gift-like extension of this kind of space that can be truly healing.

Elizabeth Newman, in her book Untamed Hospitality: Welcoming God and Other Strangers, says that hospitality is a move toward “being with” others instead of just “doing for” others – a process which is often messy and which requires the hospitable person to “give up concern with efficiency and results and to ‘waste time’” on and with other human souls. Hospitality, then, is not just opening my front door, it is opening my mind, heart, and soul. It is inviting others in spite of – and, in fact, into – my messiness.

In The Wounded Healer: Ministry in Contemporary Society, Nouwen says that humans are desperate to be acknowledged in all their brokenness and responded to by their fellow man. It is within our context of cultural independence, individualism, and isolation that is becomes so crucial, as Nouwen says, for “Christians to offer an open and hospitable space where strangers can cast off their strangeness and become our fellow human beings.” In fact, it seems to be the case that we cannot take away the sufferings of our fellow men without entering into them with our whole being, accepting the risk of being wounded ourselves.

As Christians, we must share with our fellow human beings in both the common pain of our basic brokenness as well as the hope of God’s promise of salvation. As we share in these two ways, we will likely watch community rise around us. We were created with togetherness in mind, and there is deep solidarity to be found as we together recognize the reality of our shattered condition and seek to grasp the magnificent dimensions of the grand restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I am learning that it is my incarnational task to make room within my life and offer the invitation of togetherness to those around me: to journey together, share together, laugh together, grow together, and grieve together. Hospitality, then, starts with inviting another person into my life and letting them know right off the bat that they are truly wanted here.